Cancer touches so many people in so many ways. One in three Americans has had at least one family member diagnosed with the disease. A cancer diagnosis is a life-altering event that instantly transforms those affected into caregivers and advocates as well as loved ones and friends.

It’s normal to feel sad, angry, anxious, inadequate and overwhelmed when someone you love is diagnosed with cancer. You wonder, “How can I stay strong when I feel so weak? How can I help when I feel so helpless? What can I say that won’t sound trivial?”

Your concern is not only for your loved one’s physical health but also for his or her emotional wellbeing, which can overshadow your own emotional needs. It’s important to recognize that your feelings are important too. Taking care of oneself is imperative if you are going to support your loved one through cancer treatment and disease process.

All cancer diagnoses are distressing but lung cancer is particularly worrisome because it is rarely found before it has progressed to an advanced stage. As with other cancer diagnoses, we are suddenly thrust into a whirlwind of medical appointments, diagnostic testing and difficult decisions. It is an emotional roller coaster that never seems to stop. Here are tips to help you manage:

Listen and Learn
The best way to support a loved one with cancer is to listen. He or she may be frightened, depressed or angry and need a sounding board to cope.

Take some time to learn as much as you can about his or her disease. A good place to start is with your own doctor and nurses who can offer advice on taking care of yourself as well as your loved one.

If you go to the web for health information, make sure you consult reliable sources. Some good sources include www.cancer.net (American Society of Clinical Oncology); www.cancer.org (American Cancer Society); www.cancer.gov (National Cancer Institute); www.nih.gov(National Institutes of Health) www.lungcanceralliance.org (Lung Cancer Alliance) and www.dh.org.

Face Your Fears
Are you afraid you won’t be there for your loved one … or are you worried that your loved one won’t be there for you? Fears about finances and mortality are common, as well as concerns about making the right decisions about treatment and care. Recognizing that these fears are completely natural may help.

Find Support
You might benefit from a support group for caregivers. Doylestown Hospital offers several support group options. For more information on cancer care and support, go to our hospital website at www.dh.org.. Click Publications. Gilda’s Club in Bucks County offers a wide array of support for patients, caregivers, and family (www.gildasclubbucksmont.org).

Your doctor may have support group suggestions, as well as a list of resources to help get you through particular situations. Does your loved one live alone and need extra care while you are at work? You might consider hiring a home health aide. Does your loved one need transportation to treatment appointments? You can’t do it all. It’s OK to ask for help.

Give Yourself a Break
Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t know what to say or can’t be there all the time for your loved one. Give yourself a break – and take one too. If you are rested and healthy, you will be able to take better care of your loved one.

Keep It Real
Don’t start to treat your loved one differently, and try not to feel uncomfortable. It’s important to keep things as normal as possible. No one wants to “become” a diagnosis.

Finally, if your loved one has been diagnosed with lung cancer, maintain as healthy an environment as possible, take care of yourself and don’t hesitate to call us if you need help or support.

Support Groups and Programs
The Cancer Center at Doylestown Hospital offers several support groups and programs to aid patients and their families during their journey with the disease. Call 215-345-2261 or check the hospital website at www.dh.org. for details.