Stress is bad for your health. That’s a proven fact. And prolonged stress can increase your risk of heart disease, high blood pressure or other serious conditions. The bottom line is: Stress hurts! Coping well with stress is essential to living a healthy life. But before we can deal with stress properly, we need to understand what it really is.

Most people think stress comes from events beyond our control, such as a flat tire, a traffic jam or a pushy boss. While these situations are unfortunate, they are only catalysts, not causes, of stress. The cause lies in our reactions, and our reactions are controllable.

Under stress, the mind can start to work in unreasonable ways — even become a bit of an enemy. Stuck in a simple traffic jam, you might find yourself thinking: “This is the worst day of my life! I can’t believe this is happening!” Psychologists call this negative self-talk, and it has negative effects on your stress level.

Most people aren’t aware of their self-talk and instead blame the event that triggered their reaction. For example, if the copy machine jams two minutes before an important meeting, you might think, “This copier always breaks down at the worst times possible!” Relax. Convoluted thoughts like this are not true and will only upset you. The copy machine isn’t trying to spite you. Things break. Stay calm; this will lead you to a better solution.