List Dad? OK, that’s me. But I didn’t really retire... just thought I would spend some time in the background for awhile. Sheree, Michelle and Ed will carry on capably as facilitators of the Hepatitis B Information Support Listserv (HB-L), which remains the only online support group for HBV.

I’ve been the List Dad and Sheree Martin has been the List Mom since 1998. We like to think of our group as a large family, with children coming and going. At any one time, we have over 1,100 kids subscribed to one of our two lists. (We also own the HBV Research List where news and abstracts are posted daily by Sheree.)

When someone subscribes to our interactive support list, it’s as if we invite them into our home. As in every family, however, Mom and Dad have the authority. We try, though, not to be dictators. Our rules are simple: (1) Be nice to each other, and (2) Don’t try to use the family to make money.

Sounds pretty simple, huh? Nope, not simple. Before starting HB-L, Sheree and I belonged to a larger, more general hepatitis list. I was surprised at how rude people can get with one another. People can become brazen when they have the anonymity that the Internet provides. I can even remember where an argument on that list ended up in a lawsuit, with one subscriber suing the other for slander. No kidding.

Over the past nine years, we’ve only had to kick a couple of kids off our list (tough love). Instead, we use a technique to handle troublemakers which can also work with your actual kids or difficult friends.

1. Give the offender concrete examples of the behavior you don’t like.

2. Tell the offender how his or her behavior affects you, and then say, “in my opinion, the reason you behave this way might be because ______.” (Fill in the blank)

This technique takes all the fun out of their being naughty. Typically the offenders who value the list will change and stay. Those who want to create mischief usually leave of their own accord. Given the size of the list, it’s truly extraordinary how well we all get along.

Through the list, I’ve met so many friends that I believe will be my friends for life. It’s very strange how you can become so close to people online, knowing you may never meet them in person. But fortunately, I have met many of the list members through the Hepatitis B Foundation’s annual B Informed Patient Conference.

I’d like to thank all of you who have befriended me and made the job of List Dad so immensely satisfying these past years. Thanks also for the kind way you all get along 99% of the time. There’s nothing more satisfying than watching your kids love and help each other.

Thanks Sheree, as List Mom you have been such a good partner. How many of you can say like me that you haven’t had an argument with your significant other in the past nine years? Hmmm... maybe cyber-marriage is the way to go.

Although I’m taking a break, I’m not leaving. This seemed like a good time to try something new for awhile.

Best Wishes,
Steve